Teresa George

A Happy Life: 3 Ways to Wreck Your Chances



Posted: Monday, March 23, 2009

by Teresa George
http://www.OneActOnly.com

To be happier that's what we all want. The problem is you can be your own worst enemy.

Negatives attitudes can wreck your chances of being happy. You want to be happy, but you're unlikely to achieve real happiness if you fall foul of these 3 states of mind:

Anticipated Dismay

Why look for trouble? It's bad enough when life throws a spanner in the works without you anticipating trouble ahead. Why spend your time worrying about what might happen? Things often turn out better than you anticipated, so expect the best. And if the worst does happen you can cross that proverbial bridge and deal with it then.

What can you do?

If you have a tendency to believe things won't work out well, keep a record of your prediction. When the situation is resolved, check back and read your prediction. Check your Anticipated versus the Actual outcome and see how often you were wrong.

One thought to hold onto is that things have a way of turning out for the best. It may not seem like it when you're in the middle of a situation, but once the dust has settled very often you can look back and realise it worked out better than you anticipated and could even have been a blessing in disguise.

Relative Depression http://www.oneactonly.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif

This is the gap between what you want and what you have. Worrying about the difference between these two states can result in a feeling of underachievement and even depression.

Why stress yourself with worrying about what you haven't got. Focus on the good things you already have .

What can you do?

Get a plan of action to get what you want. Stay positive and focused. Work steadily towards your goal and you'll stand a good chance of getting it.

Remember that anything is possible so don't limit your dreams, but worrying about not having what you want right now isn't going to get it for you, only taking positive action towards your goal will.

Negative Comparisons

Comparing your life with others why do it? They are not you. You are not them.

Just because some people live a certain way or have certain things doesn't mean you have to. What's the point in feeling bad because someone has a bigger house, your neighbour's car is newer than yours or your friend earns more money than you? At least you have a roof over your head, your car goes and you have a job.

And what does all this comparing get you anyway? It just leaves you feeling a failure which is never a good way to feel about yourself.

Remember, there is no rule written in stone that we all have to live the same way and have the same things.

What can you do?

Forget trying to "keep up with the Joneses". Don't follow the herd be individual. Be yourself. Follow your own path and set your own goals.

***

By avoiding these 3 negative attitudes you'll stand a much better chance achieving a happy life.

Real happiness it can be yours.

Teresa has always been the one her friends turn to for advice and support – one described her as “a wise owl”. She believes the four As to discovering yourself and finding your way to true happiness are: Analysis, Acknowledgement, Acceptance and Action. She focuses on the final step: Action, because without doing something, taking positive action we cannot effect change.

She has studied counselling, but more importantly she’s had life experiences: married at 19 divorced at 23; at 32 she was told she couldn’t have children; within 7 years, her brother and parents died after long illnesses; she has survived cancer.

Having cancer changed her perspective on life. She learned that it isn’t so much what happens to us in life, but how we react to it that’s important.

Visit her at: http://www.OneActOnly.com
Read more articles by Teresa

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